I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
