I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
