i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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