i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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