Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
