Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
