Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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