Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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