so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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