There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
