I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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