Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Is it because I queefed?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
