hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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