break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
