Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize