You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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