did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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