Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
