Buhtt sex?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
