the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
