Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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