i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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