I hate your face
She's JV to your varsity
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
