I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
