I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
