The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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