does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
