i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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