I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
