he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
