They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
