Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
