Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
