what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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