i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
