Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
