dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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