Buhtt sex?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My vagina just clenched in fear
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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