Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
