Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize