Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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