I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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