She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
