I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
