"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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