I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
