If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize