So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
