the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize