yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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