You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
