I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
