she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
