im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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