remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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