Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
