I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize